Dear GirlShrink,
Am I crazy? I am dating this guy and I think it’s pretty serious – but it’s already a day after Christmas and he hasn’t even mentioned New Year’s Eve plans with me. He hasn’t asked me to do anything. He hasn’t invited me anywhere. And he hasn’t even asked me what I’m doing.
Do you think he assumes that we are already going out, and that maybe I’m making the plans? I haven’t said anything because I don’t want to make an ass out of myself and presume that we are doing anything. BUT I do know that if he doesn’t ask me soon, I’m going to very upset. If he doesn’t ask me out for New Year’s Eve – doesn’t that mean we aren’t as serious as I thought?
Kiana,
Houston TX
Dear Kiana,
This is a great question. We often put a lot more weight on holidays then I personally think they deserve, but you could be right. It really depends on the guy you are dating and how serious he takes holidays AND how into you he is. Even if guys aren’t so really into the holidays, they still do not want you celebrating with someone else – so they will come up with plans just to keep you to themselves:) Not so in this case huh?
Well, let’s not count him out. Very few guys I know plan New Year’s Eve weeks in advance. Most of the time, they do what their friends are doing. OR if they are dating someone, they may ask other couple friends what they are doing and follow along. This can happen the day before or even the day of. So don’t panic just yet.
But I want you to also consider the fact that you are waiting for all these cues from the guy you are dating to determine just how “serious” things are, when all you really have to do is open your mouth. Trust me — being overly concerned about making a fool of yourself is a waste of time. I know many a woman who is single and lonely because they spent their entire twenties and thirties worried about “looking stupid”.
I think you should eventually ask him where he stands in the relationship, and if you’re really daring – perhaps ask him out for New Year’s Eve!
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