Dear GirlShrink,
I have a little problem and I need advice. I’m going to high school and there this guy in my class and he’s the smartest guy in the class. He talks and fools around with girls. He starting to stare at me. This weird thing started to happen 10 days ago. Once I was in my classroom and he entered to class and he stared at me. Next day, I was in the hallway and he stared at me two times. Another day my teacher was teaching us something and he stared at me again. He stares at me every day. He stares at me a lot. It really bothers me. I don’t like him. I feel creepy and scared because I think he’s going hurt me or something. Why does he stare at me? Should I talk with my teacher about this? Thanks so much!
Dear High School Girl,
I think what may be going on is that this really smart guy really also wants to be socially popular and it also sounds like that he may be attracted especially to you. Of course if the attention is making you uncomfortable then you need to address it. Remember that what he is doing is not against the law – so you have to try and handle this the best you can so that you can have a normal school day. So the first thing I would do is make sure that he knows that you know what he is doing and that you aren’t afraid of him.So I would first ask him point blank why he is staring at you. Do not be confrontational, but curious. Do not ask him in front of a lot of people where it may embarrass him, but perhaps outside or in the hallway on the side. Sometimes just the knowledge that you are aware of his staring may be enough for him to stop. He may be more aware of what he is doing when he is around you.
Now in addition to this, an adult needs to know what is going on as well because your instincts are telling you that something is not right about his staring. I always listen to my “gut” and you should too. So tell your parents and perhaps a teacher or counselor you trust at school. While the cannot stop him from staring at you, they can keep an eye on him and make sure he isn’t being inappropriate in any other way with you or any other girls.
Finally – it could be possible that this guy just wants to be your friend and doesn’t know how to approach you. It sounds like that you do not know him at all – but that you just know he is smart and playful with girls. Perhaps talking to him a bit and getting to know him could be the answer to all of this.
