Dear Girlshrink,
Hi… I`ve been asking myself many questions about the last guy I dated.
He always seemed to be interested in me, in my plans, my dreams, my wishes, my work, my family, etc, etc. Suddenly he stopped calling, stopped chatting with me, no more hanging out, he disappeared and I never knew why. When I asked him what happened it was worse. He told me he couldn`t feel the same way and that he`d rather be my friend.
I would really like to know what I did wrong… because I still love him, and even though I know we won`t be together I don`t want to make the same mistake again with someone else.
Andrea A.G.
Dear Andrea,
These are NOT my favorite types of guys because they are big fat chickens. Something scared him off about the relationship you were building. Perhaps it was moving too fast, or he found that you were moving faster than him, or vice-versa. It could be that as you both got to learn more about each other he realized that he didn’t have as much in common with you as he thought. Or it could be that he re-met an old girlfriend and couldn’t tell you or I could go on and on…
But you get my point here. Who knows why this guy became suddenly disinterested. But don’t you dare spend another minute wondering what you did to cause his leaving. Because the truth is — you didn’t. Regardless of his reasons why — they were “his” reasons. And there is nothing you can do to NOT do it again — because you don’t know what “it” is.
My advice is to let this go and chalk it up to an easy way out for a relationship that wasn’t going to work anyway.
Go into your next relationship knowing that all you can do is be yourself and hope that the next guy can me a little more honest about what is going on inside his head.
