Dear GirlShrink,
I am 23 years old and have recently developed feelings for my best friend who just turned 18. I know this sounds terrible, but he has been one of my best friends for the past 3 years and in the past year we have become even closer. He is more mature than most guys MY age and he is so sweet, funny, caring, loyal and talented. I never expected this would happen and never thought I would fall in love with him but it just happened. We write songs together and have traveled together with our band several times and I love the connection we have. He is amazing. But he is so young. I don’t know what to do… Part of me feels absolutely insane for even letting myself get to this place in my heart, and the other part can see us being incredible together, regardless of age. Should I just drop it and try to move on? Or wait a few years and see if something could actually work? Please help.
Torn and Confused
Mansfield TX
Dear Torn and Confused,
Your relationship would make a lot more sense if your best friend was older. I honestly don’t think for the most part that any 17 just turned 18 year old person knows the weight of the decisions that they make. If you both made the decision to be together now, I think that one of you would probably get hurt, and that person may be you. As your friend ages, he may want to explore and be with different people as people his age usually do – and you may get tragically hurt.Now while I’m not saying that this would definitely be a mistake — I would say to move with caution. If you can date other people and wait this relationship out a couple of years (say when he is 21) then do that. For now, be what you have always been, really close friends who enjoy each other and can count on each other without all of that “romantic noise” in the way:-)
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