Dear GirlShrink,

Ok, I was dating this guy on and off for four years, in that time frame he became my 1st love. But during the off part and we was seeing other people, I got pregnant and had a baby by another guy. After he found out I was pregnant, he stopped communicating with me all together. There was no closure at all. It’s been a year now and I still find myself thinking and dreaming about my ex ALOT! We have seen each other recently, the connection was there, but he didn’t feel comfortable being around me. I think I still have really strong feelings for him, but I really don’t know what to do at this point.. So I am coming to you, asking for your help and advice on my confusing situation.

Signed,
Wonderchick10

Dear Wonderchick10,

It’s very common for guys to shut down when women “move on” during an off period in a relationship. Usually because he didn’t expect you to really and truly move on. Your pregnancy and child are just constant reminders of how you were able to “forget him” during that period. I don’t think you should make him aware of your feelings until you are sure of them yourself. You now have a child and the child’s father to consider.

Don’t bring on any unnecessary drama on yourself until you know that’s a path that you are ready to travel on. Now having said that, I think that you may need to have some sort of “closure” conversation with this guy. I just want you to be sure what you really want from when you have it. Closure or to continue where you left off.

Dear GirlShrink,
Hi I have been going out with my girlfriend for a bit over 3 months but we started as friends for over 4 years. I have already said i love you to her and we have also been intimate but she has been unable to say “I love you” to me. She tells me that she cares a lot about me and that Im the only guy for her and i feel the same but i dont know if shes afraid to commit more to me or is it that she has never felt love?? HELP!

Dear Friend,
While I understand that you have been friends with your girlfriend, you have only been “together” for three months — and in my book that is not really enough time to wonder where she stands emotionally. She might be really happy and connected to you — but love is a strong commitment and means many things to different people.

I really feel that you should be happy with the fact that you are in a great relationship with someone you love, someone who you are happy with, and who clearly feels strongly for you. So just let that ride. Don’t start analyzing the relationship based on what she will or will not say. It’s too early for that. Relax and allow the relationship to grow on its own. If you drive yourself (or her) about this – you will most assuredly push her away.

Dear GirlShrink,
I wanna tell my boyfriend I love him but I’m terrably afrade of rejection, in other words, I’m afraid that if I tell him I love him it might make him even worse at just hanging out than he already is and he already acts so nervous when we hang out after I tell him that he might R.U.N.N.O.F.T. If you know what i mean so please help…

Dear Nervous,
It doesn’t sound like your relationship is on totally solid ground. The fact that you are a little skittish about his commitment level begs the question “Why do you need to tell him that you love him, right now?” I’m not sure if people have run off from you before — you sound like someone may have abandoned you in your life. But you need to work through those fears before you tell him something so monumental. I would wait until you figure out WHY you are so fearful of rejection from him or in general before I make such a relationship-shaping declaration.

Dear Readers,

Today I’m flipping the script and asking you a question! Can you find true love in high school or is everyone so immature that true love cannot be found and/or sustained at that age?

Think back (if you can remember!) Were you in love with someone in high school? Or were you in Disney™ Love?