When You Make More Money Than Him

Lisa Angelettie MSW — Wed, 16 May 2007 04:50:00 +0000

Dear GirlShrink,
I make a LOT more money then this guy I am seeing. While I try to pick guys who are super confident, I think that this is just turning out to be too much for my guy. Can I save this sinking ship? And if not – how do I not make the same mistake again?
(anonymous)

Dear Friend,
There’s is no doubt that a lot of men are uncomfortable with women making significantly more money than them. Of course much of that is because of their need to go out there and bring home the bacon. It is what a lot of men use to define themselves. What they do for a living and how well they can take care of their families (financially that is).

And so after saying all of that — I understand how a man would be uncomfortable with that. You would have to meet a very evolved man to be okay with that. And there are plenty of them out there. But I bet I can guess that you are not attracted to those types of men. You might be attracted to the type who has something to prove. Super or over confident guys tend to do that. Believe it or not, it’s the more quiet types. The ones who are just “happy to be there” that are a lot more comfy in their own skins and could tolerate a woman who makes way more much better.

You also need to remember that a man – still wants to be “the man” in your relationship and you will need to validate the things that he does bring to you and your relationship regardless of their financial significance. Feed the ego a little and you will have fed the relationship a very satisfying meal!

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When You Make More Money Than Him