Dear GirlShrink,
I Still Miss My Ex Very Much & Need Advice On how To Either Get Over It , Get Him Back , Or What You Think is Going On And What Might Happen. It Was A 7 Month Long Distance Relationship Between 2 18 Year Olds.I Broke up With Him Almost 2 Months Ago , I didnt mean it i was upset at the time and blocked him always i knew how ,i thought we would get back together like usual. Normally he would end up begging me back within a week but 3 weeks passed and i began to break down so i called him , he seemed like he missed me since then ive ended and initiated contact 3 times with a week between each, he has never missed me enough to contact me…this time, on thursday he told me eh still loved me and had thought about fixing it , everything i wanted to hear , but by that night i could tell he wasnt serious got upset and blocked him again , i know he most likely wont contact like the time before because of this girl , but what can i do i keep seeing videos and pictures of him and i cry each time.
Dear Long Distance Girl,
You will need to get over this relationship and there are a few reasons why. First, you do not handle conflict well. Part of this is that you are 18 years old and need time to mature. Some of it is your personality. And parts of it maybe how you’ve watched other people older than you handle conflict.This blocking him and waiting for him to beg for you to come back will not work in the real world – in a real relationship. No man is going to put up with that or even want to deal with that. In fact, this guy may have had enough of this too and has emotionally moved on.
Another reason this probably won’t work is that only the strongest of relationships can weather long distance. Your relationship is NOT strong. So you have that working against you.
Another reason why I question the relationship is the fact that you are having so many arguments. What are they about? What makes you so angry that you choose to end contact with him? These are all things you may want to consider as you grow older and move on to other relationships. Who are you? What do you want from a relationship? What should a guy expect from you?
As far as getting over your ex – only time and a conscious decision to move on will help that. If you are crying etc., that is perfectly normal and acceptable. You have to give yourself a little time to grieve the end of the relationship. If you didn’t – I’d be worried:)
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GirlShrink…spot on! Very few guys will put up with this kind of drama. Guys will do a lot for sex (yes, I said sex) but there are too many other fine women in the World to go through these hoops just for a roll between the sheets.
I wonder about LongDistanceGirl’s role models–have her parents or siblings modeled this kind of love/hate/miss/love/hate kind of relationship? Have you also terminated friendships the same way?
And what’s 7 months? To an 18 year old it seems like a long time. To a 30 year old it’s far more acceptable. Crying is expected from someone with few relationships under their belt, instense (but seldom) reunions and an emotionally quick temper.
LongDistanceGirl, if you want to move on and deal with things in a more healthy way then date more people, look to people whose relationship skills foster the kind of relationship you dream of, and start being a duck and let the water (the hurtful things) roll of your back instead of getting angry and terminating your relationships.
Remember the Golden Rule…treat others like you yourself want to be treated. That’s good advice for friendships and essential advice for relationships.