Dear GirlShrink,
I think that I have good reason to suspect that my boyfriend is cheating on me. We’ve been together about 9 months. I really think I am falling in love with him? I think I want to ignore it — but if my sisters or mom find out — they would kill me. What should I do?
D.V.
Dear D.V.,
It’s refreshing to hear some honesty out there. Men cheat and women often turn a blind eye to it. It’s rare for someone to write to me telling me that – that’s what they plan to do. BUT having said that…you cannot turn a blind eye to cheating. Even if you decide to stay. You need to confront your boyfriend about it. Especially if you have evidence or a strong gut feeling. The key is thought, what you are going to do after you confront him. Are you afraid that you will then be forced to leave him? Not necessarily so — if he admits to his treachery and is remorseful.
Because let’s be honest here – 9 months isn’t much. You both are still trying to figure it all out. Especially if you are under the age of 28 or 29.
Of course there is always the arguement that his cheating will only lead to repeat episodes – and as a precursor to a relationship filled with trust issues.
It’s your call — but whatever you do — don’t just NOT do anything. Do something. Or it will eat you alive.
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Wow, after only 9 months, I would say it is not worth ignoring or putting up with. Especially if you only “think you are falling in love with him.”
It sounds to me like you have the chance to get out of this before you get really really hurt.
Take it, you don’t always get this lucky.
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