I lied to a friend/lover regarding a voice mail that I sent to his old classmate (that was starting to get in touch with him). I prenteded to be his wife and I told her to leave his family alone, in turn the class mate emailed his wife and questioned the voice mail that was left on her phone. My lover’s wife replied that she had not called anyone.
When I was approched by my lover if I was the one that pretended to be his wife and left the message, I said no. I guess with fear that I’d loose his trust and relationship which we have been having for 20years.(his wife does not know) It’s been bothering me so much that I lied to him and I don’t know if I should come clean with him even if it means loosing him…What should I do?
Dear Friend,
You almost single-handedly jeopardized your so-called relationship by pulling this juvenile stunt. You really need to ask yourself why you even bothered doing this? How did you know that an old classmate was trying to get in touch with him? Were you checking his voicemail? Why is this man your “lover”? Why are you not seeing a truly available man. This guy sounds like he likes to keep a few women around for safe-keeping but will never leave his wife. That’s why he wanted to know if you did it. He wants to make sure you never do that again — because he does not want to lose the wife. The #1 person in his life, regardless what he does or shares with you.
Back to your question, if it truly is bothering you and you can’t get past it, then it probably makes sense to just come clean. If your relationship is tried and true, then he will not abandon you. And you will feel a lot better. Again though – the real key to this whole thing is for you to analyze why you did it in the first place and try to stop that from happening again.
