Dear GirlShrink,
I am a college student, and I am a grader for a class. One of the rules for being a grader is that we cannot date people in the class. I have followed this rule despite starting to take a pretty serious interest in a senior, call him “B”, in the class. We hit it off, and when we hang out I feel like there’s a low-boiling mutual interest that might definitely become something more serious were we able to act on it. Obviously, waiting until the end of this semester means waiting until he’s graduating, so I put the thought out of my mind and moved on. Since then, I fell pretty hard (and stupidly) for a younger guy, “C”, who barely notices me despite some mild overtures I’ve made. I feel very stupid about it since I can’t keep making these overtures without getting any – and I mean *any* – response. Specifically, I have emailed him a few times about a project he’s working on that I would like to be a part of, and he hasn’t taken me up on the offer – it seems pretty clear.
Well, now the semester is winding down and it turns out that I’ll be returning the final problem set in that math class with a few weeks to go to the end of the semester. I would like to ask B to a dance, and perhaps more than just that, but I haven’t actually killed the idea of asking out C. I feel like sitting down with C for a “you’re not interested, right?” conversation might be overkill, but it might be the only way for me to move on without this silliness hanging over me.
Dear College Grader,
I’m not sure what your question is my dear? You basically followed procedure and didn’t date guy B during the semester. Bravo. When you are finished with grading and the semester is over, then by all means – ask him out. But guy C? Eh, I’ve wasted many a day on guys like that. Little interest usually means that he is not interested – period. Nothing more. Talking about it with him could possibly give you the closure you need, but it may make you feel even sillier than you already do. You just have to make the decision to move on (unless he steps up and makes a move), and see what may possibly happen with “B”.




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