Dear GirlShrink,
I’ve just become a senior in high school and am starting to look at colleges. I have a boyfriend who’s a junior, though, and I plan on being with him for a while because things have been working out so well in the past year. How do I start applying for colleges while keeping him in mind when I don’t even know how our relationship will turn out? College is the only subject that makes him feel uncomfortable, he’s just as unsure as I am. What do we do about our futures?
Dear College-Bound,
That was a really good question. One that many young women including myself have had to make at one point or another. While I have known a few, most high school relationships that move on to higher education do not seem to make it, and this is why… One of the things that happens to most people in college is that they grow emotionally. You start to carve out and define your views on life, love, and the future. You meet a LOT of new people. You do a lot of new things. Things that your friends in high school will not be doing, or things their parents won’t let them do yet. There is a lot of freedom in college, and with that freedom comes the responsibility to make smart decisions. Although you won’t always make them. Finally, long distance relationships are very difficult. Especially when you are going to be going through all these new experiences.So my point here is that while you could possibly be an exception, statistics say that you won’t be. And just in case you are one of those statistics, I wouldn’t advise you to make BIG life decisions based on your current relationship. Select and apply to colleges that YOU want to go to based on your life goals and dreams, and make the decision solely based on that. This is your life and your future we’re talking about.
Now having said all of that — once you do make the decision that is best for you — you can do your best to maintain your relationship with your boyfriend and who knows – maybe you will beat the odds. He can visit you on campus. You can come home once a month. There is so much technology now — you can email, chat, video chat etc. everyday if you wanted. It doesn’t have to be the END of things – but I just want you to cover your bases. Long distance is not easy for you, for him, for anyone. Yet I always love a happy ending — and I wish you all the luck in the world into making yours work:)
