Dear GirlShrink,
Hi, my girlfriend and i have been dating long distance for about 8 months. there is something that has been bothering me she still talks and is best friends with her ex girlfriend . I believe they talk about two or three times a week. my girlfriend was up front when we first started dating, i was ok with it but now we r in luv so i cant handle it.she talks about her ex all the time and is always calling her for advice. i told her it is wither her or me is that wrong of me?? am i being over jealous?
Dear Jealous One,
I think that only some couples, ones with a long history of trust, or ones with a very honest relationship can be close to ex’s and still maintain a jealous free relationship. It isn’t for everyone. Trust often has to be earned in relationships – it is not always assumed. Plus – one would wonder – what part of that relationship does your girlfriend still need to hold onto? And why? And does she know that it bothers you? And if she does, why does she continue talking about the ex with you?If you haven’t already, you need to be honest about you feel and see what your girlfriend’s response is. It could be something as simple – as she has no idea that it is affecting you like this.
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Okay…the girlfriend knows it bothers her, GirlShrink. She is talking to the ex and yalking about the ex because she’s still in love with the ex (and to some degree, visa-versa). Where “Jealous One” says she’s in love, it must be asked, “In love with what?” In love with someone who only gives part of herself to her and the other part to the ex? Is Jealous One unable to be truly communicative and forces her girlfriend back to the “ex” to seek counsel and be mentally stimulated? Who knows. Jealous One, your relationship is on the rocks. Talk straight with her and ask her to do the same with you. Speak the truth in love and accept criticsm even if it hurts. This relationship cannot go anywhere until you do. I’m afraid she’s more important to you, than you are to her.
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