Dear GirlShrink,
My girlfriend broke up with her ex boyfriend 7 months ago, me and her are now dating and she still tells me that she misses her ex sometimes and anytime i tell her that she is beautiful or that she is amazing or any kind of compliment she feels awkward and pulls away from me – i’d like to know what to do I’m in love with her.
Dear In Love,
Bottom line is that you can’t “compliment away” her feelings for someone else. Seven months is NO time at all for her to grieve the ending of a relationship. Honestly, she probably shouldn’t have moved on with you so fast after ending her relationship with the last guy. So you need to give her time. Talk to her about it. Let her know that you realize she may still have feelings for her ex and that you respect that, BUT that it may not be in the best interest of her relationship with you to talk about him all the time. While they are valid, some feelings should remain private. OR she should work them out with a non-interested 3rd party. Not you.
If you have any advice for our “in love” guy – please leave it in the comments section below.
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I had this problem with my boyfriend. My engagement was broken off (not my doing) and I met my boyfriend 2 months later!! I was in no shape to be in a relationship but he never gave up on me. I knew if I let him go it would be the biggest mistake of my life. I was honest about my feelings and he accepted them as well. He never got mad or lost patience. Everyday he did and continues to make me feel like the most important thing on this planet. If you truely love this girl be patient, and don’t give up. It won’t be easy, and it may even not work out, but if you don’t try your hardest you’ll always be wondering… “what if.”
Isn’t it funny how being nice to someone can have the opposite effect that you wanted. It seems that this is not what is going to create attraction and ultimately lead to her forgetting about her former boyfriend. Funny how human nature works.
If you were to be a little less “caring,” you may see that she starts warming up to you. We all want what we can’t have, I suppose. The problem is, if you love her, you are going to be fighting your natural instincts by being a little less complimentary and more aloof.
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