Dear GirlShrink,
My wife is just too fat for me. When I met her she was really one burger away from being too big for me, but I really liked her personality. I mean I love her. She’s fun. Or she use to be. But the bigger she gets – the more of a homebody she’s become. And she don’t want to have sex as much. She just isn’t the same person. We’ve been married for 2 years and we’re both 24.
Stuck Like Chuck
Dear Stuck Like Chuck,
I’m sure there are women cringing all over the world who have just read this letter. I am not negating your honesty in this matter, but I think that you are missing a little sensitivity in this issue. You fell in love with who the person your wife is inside. At least that is what you said in your letter. You didn’t just want a trophy wife did you? While I understand that one needs to be attracted to someone to have a fulfilling sexual relationship – there are also other things to consider.Your wife may be gaining weight for a lot of reasons. Did you just have a child? Is she under any stress at work or home? Do you think she is depressed for some reason? Are you stressing her out by talking about her weight (which by the way only makes most women eat all the more!) Has marriage been a huge adjustment for the both of you? Did she move away from family when you two married?
Think about the reason(s) why your wife may be gaining weight, and address those issues instead of focusing on the weight. Lift your wife up. Compliment her. Encourage her. Let her know she is loved no matter what. Make healthy eating choices for yourself and perhaps she will follow your lead. Get out and take a walk with your wife. Or bike riding. And more sex! Sex is a good calorie burner.
Remember that this marriage is not all about you. It is a partnership. So log off your computer today and go be a partner to your wife, and I bet things will turn around for the better!
