My Mother-In-Law Is Crazy!

Dear GirlShrink,
I am recently engaged and love my fiance, but his mother is ridiculously looney-tunes! She calls me in the middle of the night to talk about nothing. She spends tons of money that she doesn’t have. All with my fiance’s credit. She interferes in every decision that we make after we have made it. She wants to be a part of everything that we do but in a very non-productive way. Like – she isn’t helping. I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about postponing the wedding because of her. But I don’t want to hurt my fiance. Any advice?
Shelia NewKirk

Dear Shelia,
You don’t need to postpone your wedding. Because waiting 6 months to see what can be done about your future mother-in-law is not the solution. What you are going to have to do is decide WITH your fiance just how involved she is going to be in your lives period. Can he make decisions without even mentioning things to her? Can he ignore the calls etc. How will he feel if you choose to ignore her calls and erratic behavior. Because if she is simply an attention seeker – then ignoring her is the best remedy. But if there is something more wrong with her such as depression, manic disorder, or bipolar depression — then your fiance may want to take some course of action.

The bottom line here though is that you two need to tackle this issue together and not be afraid to hurt each others feelings. This is someone you will have to deal with in your lives for quite a long time. So it’s best that you both are on the same page on how you are going to handle it.

I have found that a really good husband will respect your feelings and try to be the “buffer” between you two. It is his responsibility to deal with the “crazy relations” just as it is your responsibility to deal with yours. (Hey, everybody has ‘em!)

Tagged as: engagement, finances, mother-in-law