Dear GirlShrink,
Hi. I have been in this relationship for 4 months now and what I found out has really devastated me. The guy will be getting married in one month and all this time he kept lying to me.
I cant seem to get over him no matter how hard i try. He keeps calling and i have told him i need my space but he simply does not want to listen. when I’m alone i cant stop thinking about him and all i do is cry. Please give me tips on how to get over him because it is taking toll on my health.
Dear Friend,
You’ve been duped, and he still has the nerve to try and still talk to you? My advice to you is to first – get mad. That will keep you from talking to him. Then second – be grateful. Be grateful that you missed that bullet.If you had ended up in a long-term relationship with him, imagine all the lives he would have told you? You are lucky that he showed his true colors although it was very late. Trust me when I say that the real person in trouble is his soon to be wife.
As far as the pain that this has caused in your life. You have lost someone special to you. You must mourn the loss of him like you would any other loss. You will be in pain. You will be in denial. You will be angry. You will have regrets. And then you will move on. It is human nature.
If this break up is truly affecting your health, then I worry that you may have been a emotionally fragile way before this man showed his true colors. Seek the counsel of close friends, family members, or a professional counselor. Stay connected with friends and family, and go out and do things with these people. Even if its just hanging out at their homes.
Do NOT isolate yourself. Do NOT sit in your home and dwell on this man who has hurt so badly. Do NOT call this man or accept his calls. He was the wrong person for you, and you need to be “open” and ready for when the right person comes along. So extricating this man from your life literally and emotionally should be priority #1.
