Dear GirlShrink,
My girlfriend of five months has a best friend of the opposite sex that I have met once when we had just begun dating. They text each other all the
time and hang out together at his house just them two and his brother. I’ve even read a few of their conversations and he greets her with “hey boo” and they both say “I love you” to each other and other things like “I’m missing you”. I’ve confronted her before about him calling her “boo” and she told me that there was nothing to worry about because he “talks like that to everyone”. I trust her a lot and she swears to me that nothing would ever happen between them, but I’m still having these feelings of insecurity when she doesn’t text me or answer my calls when they’re together. So my question is, what should I do in order to help our relationship?
Dear Friend,
This is a legitimate concern, because one or both of them are passively flirting with each other. It could be that “nothing would happen” because one thinks the other would never date the other. So they stay in this flirty friend zone. Or it could be a totally harmless flirty friendship.Whatever the case may be – it’s probably more annoying than a real threat. I think you have to ride this out and see how long this friendship remains annoying to you. If it continues give you unease (say for another 3 months), you may have to bring it up with her again and talk about a “solution”. She doesn’t have to end her friendship, she just may need to purposely change the dynamic of it. She will if she cares about your feelings and your relationship.
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Hate to break it to you but they are obviously having a RELATIONSHIP not a friendship! DO NOT trust her excuses … if nothing was going on, she would invite you to hang out as a group and / or answer your phone calls when she’s with him. What more do you need to know than reading “I love you” on a text message. Leave now dude.
Ok, as a girl with a freind like this im saying it may be inocent!
I have a male freind who i have been freinds with for years! His nick name for me is “baby cakes” and we always say we love each other at the end of texts!
Im the first person he calls when he has a prob as is he when i have one!
He gives me relationship advice as do i him, we even cuddle up on the sofa and watch movies together!
But we both know that it would never work if we went out, i have had boyfreinds come and go and he has always been there. We have both said that we would not want to ever become a couple because what we have is amazing!
We go shopping together and i probably spend about as much time with him as i do my boyfreind!
This has been issue with many of the men i have gone out with as it has been for my freind, and at the end of the day if we are asked to choose the boyfreind/girlfreind always goes! We know that when we find the right relashionship and want to get married ect that our freindship will have to be cooled down, as im so serious about my new bpyfreind that we have discussed it! But at the moment we will keep things as they are
Great post. I find the difficulties and enjoyment of relationships fascinating. It seems there’s always growing pains. I recently stumbled upon this blog: http://burisonthecouch.wordpress.com.
Enjoyable writing by a couple. No idea who they are, but they seem to have all the same problems you discuss and talk about them on their blog.
I’d love to see more posts like this. Thanks!
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