Choosing Your Job Or Your Spouse

by Lisa Angelettie MSW

in Uncategorized

Dear GirlShrink,
My husband wants me to quit a job I’ve had as a medical assistant for about 2 years because he didn’t like that my boss made me come into work when my husband had surgery last month. My husband could not really take care of himself the first few days and needed my help, but my boss said no. So I went to work. Now I like my job. And we need the money. But I don’t want to ruin my marriage. What should I do – pick my job or my husband?
C.E., Los Angeles, CA

Dear Friend,
Unfortunately, many of us have jobs with management who could care less about our personal circumstances at home. Or they can’t afford to care because then everyone would need the day off in the name of a personal situation. While I understand how your husband felt abandoned, I don’t think that he had really realistic expectations of what you could or could not do at your job. And honestly, in these economic times – a job is something that you need to hold onto. Especially one you like. No – I would not quit the job. And I would tell your husband that he needs to change his expectations and realize that most workplaces are not that accommodating to personal requests. Finally – if the situation ever arises again – I would try to schedule elective surgeries around holiday breaks or if it was an emergency – I would try to elicit the help of a family member or friend.

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