Dear GirlShrink,
I have been in a lesbian relationship for 3 and half years…..we married 2 years ago. We separated 2 months ago and since then she has become even closer friends with my ex-husband. I just found out that they went on a fishing trip together and shared a bed. She has betrayed my trust and has had an emotional affair with him. She called him “her rock” during the beginning part of our separation (which by the way she initiated by moving everything out of the house one day without warning). I can’t trust her and feel unsafe around her, especially since they both have shared so much information about me with each other. I am seeking a to dissolve our marriage. Would you agree this is the right thing to do? I don’t see any other options. (this is the reader’s digest version, by the way….
Thank you
Edie
Dear Edie,
I want to tug a little bit of her hair out for you! Your ex is playing a lot of immature games that have completely violated any trust you have built over the years. Especially by reaching out to the one other person who you have been intimately involved with. That was just unfair. Like you said, I’m sure there must be more to the story, because it sounds as if she was reaching out to your ex-hubby because of the fact that he was another person that knew you as deeply as she did. And thought that he could lend some understanding to her “situation” with you. Whatever that may be. Perhaps your ex sees you as the problem and she thought he could support her in those feelings.So the real question here is: What do you want to do? I can’t tell you whether or not to dissolve your marriage. Marriage is a very serious commitment and I don’t take it lightly. Other options are to seek counseling. BUT if your ex left and has no plans on trying to work things out and has limited communication with you — then perhaps the next step would be to dissolve the union. It will take two to put things back on track, and I’m not sure if you are both in a place to get that done right now.
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